The Shocker!!!

Ever see Dunn from Brooks and Dunn get the shocker?

Kurt Wilson

wears his mom's underwear......and quite possibly has herpes.

movies

I've been watching lots of em' lately. And by lots of em', i mean three.

1) The Last King of Scotland

Independently made, and you can tell, by it's uniqueness and different angles it takes with it's camera. Not NEARLY as violent as what I thought it may be going in, which is good, altho violence in films tends to retain my attention, wether warranted or not. However, when set about a king in Uganda who killed over 300,000 people, they did a good job telling the really interesting story of the mad ruler's physician, who Fucked up famously along the way.

Forrest Whitakker has come a long way. He's a really great freakin' actor. he nailed that role and it wasn't an easy role.

2) Resident Evil Extinction

Yep, a zombie movie. I'm a sucker for zombies and anything with the chance of seeing some cheap T & A. No T & A in this, but i still enjoyed it. Always have, always will.

3) 3:10 to Yuma

One of the most entertaining movies i've seen in some time. Well told, unique character dichotomy, plus like zombies, i'm a sucker for russel crowe and that thing that he won't seem to pop that lives between his eyes.... and Christian Bale.

I enjoy westerns too and this is most definitely a classic western remade with more of a modern flare to it. The only bad thing and i mean REALLY bad thing is for some reason, they put Luke wilson in the thing for a cameo. yeah, tha'ts right, the same guy that does straight to dvd releases and comedy sideckicks in anchorman and old school. I don't want to see luke wilson in that stuff. It hurt it. Same time, if you see the movie, his teeth make the worst "over the top obviously i'm wearing fake teeth or i wouldn't have done this motion with my lips" movement in the history of cinema.

You'll know it when you see it.

The holiday rush

I know everyone gets really busy this time of year, but man, i'm already looking forward to getting my weekend OVER with..and i never want that. It centers around my own stupidity naturally..i'm cramming 5 pounds of shit into a 4 pound bag.

So, here's my upcoming sched...

today..finish work/get dad's Christmas gift (my last freakin' one finally...i'm tired of shopping and wrapping and that's with doing it almost ALL online this year) go to home depot..come home, do laundry and get basement ready for holidays

Friday..work..then work party at night
saturday..cpr/first aid trainng 8-5..all freakin' day. I thought it was a good idea as having little kids and being around little kids a lot, but the timing isn' t the greatest..then i come home, and take the girls next door to the neighbor kids' birthday party from 5-7..then go to another Christmas party from 8-11 at nite, get home and relieve my dad from his babyistting duties.

SAturday..get up, get the girls ready for church and watch them in a play they are at sunday morning...then come home and go to alicia's family party.

Granted, minus the cpr training, this is all fun stuff...just hurries me around and i'm not good at remembering things when i'm busy, so i know this will catch up to me later.

anywho, the following weekend is my family part at my house, which i'm excited about. That's the one main thing i have to focus on tho before Christmas that's left..so it's kinda my landmark day that the holiday rush is done and i can enjoy the actual holidays!

I've been thinking

In just the last few weeks i've done the following:

*buy and blog about a forcing kit for indoor bulbs
* go to an art gallery to review and purchase a local artist's works
*go to meijer to buy polly pockets
* Master a beef brisket in a crock pot
* Read 700 pages in a novel
*consider it frustrating when my decor doesn't compliment each other in the house
* question why tru green would spray my foilage in the yard same day it had snowed two weeks ago
*ponder if you can't escape fate

All of the above are things i used to make fun of people...now, i've become the person that as a child I used to mock. Don't get me wrong, I still uppercut Mac trucks, wrestle grizzly bears in the yukon and am actually typing this posting with my penis, but man, i've really branched out my interests. Is it age? adventure? boredom? diversity? the need for something more in life that i've been longing for? Am I getting soft?

Bottom line, My penis can tear a phone book in half. That's all the answers you need right there. Case closed.

already, another good link from the game...

http://thesportshernia.typepad.com/blog/2007/12/approach-this-m.html

So many lions fans...so much pain.

They Are Damned

The Lions are damned I say. DAMNED! Sometimes, i honestly don't know how or why i love them and stick behind them like i have for all the years I have. To make a VERY long story short, as i could name COUNTLESS episodes of bafoonery on their behalf that has lead to close and heartbreaking defeats, horrible decisions, plays, etc, etc. Here's my exact thoughts while i was watching them play one of their best games of the year against the Cowboys before they lost on a last second touchedown.

Me going into the game : "no way the lions win today. None. The cowboys are too good and the lions will blow it somehow or someway".

Lions up by 7 and get stopped on a first goal from the 1 yard line and have to settle for a field goal : "Well, there it is..that missed touchdown opportunity will HAUNT them. Game over. No chance. They've blown it."

Lions while still playing really well, go up by 13 points in the second half and seem to be moving the ball at will against Dallas: "Hmmmm...they have a 13 point lead...if dallas scores two touchdowns they will win by 1 point and i'll be pissed as fuck. yep, that's exactly what i think will happen, regardless of how good they look right now."

Cowboys score a td..lions march right back down and line up for probably what was Jason hanson's easiest fieldgoal attempt of the year, or one of the easiest at least from 35 yards out this is what was going through my head: "No way Hanson makes this..NO WAY...1) if he makes it, the lions are up by 9 with half a quarter left...basically, i think they'd win the game if he hits it and there's no way i see them beating the cowboys..therefore, he will miss it, irregardless of it being an easy kick and 2) hanson while a tremendous kicker for the lions over his career has missed a SLEW of kicks when they really matter...he rarely ever kicks when it's important over his entire career, he's almost NEVER felt pressure due to the lions perpetual ineptitude. So, guaranteed...he'll miss this cupcake of a kick." Sure fuckin' enuff, wide right.

The cowboys fumble at their own 1 yard line and i'm thinking: "Wow, that's a really un lions like opportune play..so opportune, it's going to UNopportune...i think they punt and give the ball back to dallas now with less time on the clock and dallas will score as the clock expires giving the lions no chance to score themselves, rather then if the cowboys had scored instead of fumbling the ball, the lions would have gotten it back with plenty of time to mount a drive and score." yes, that's deep, but alas, so is the dimensia all lions fans suffer from.

Sure enuff, lions punt, cowboys mount drive, Dallas' QB fumbles and ball bounces RIGHT INTO THE ARMS OF A LIONS LINEBACKER and i think "no way that dumb muther fucker holds onto the ball, NO WAY. He'll fuck this up and flub the gimme for sure." Yep...kicked it right into the arms of the cowboys Kyle kosier, who recovered it for the cowboys and who, of course, also played for the lions just last year (the ironic pain of a lions fan is also off the charts).

Finally, sure enough, cowboys score with 18 seconds left, lions lose. FUCK COCKSUCKER PISSFUCK BALLS!

Okay, i'm back. They need a new coach who knows how to cover on special fucking teams and start drafting some damn players on fucking defense. The linebackker david harris from michigan they passed on in the draft last year was defensive fucking rookie of the month for the jets and probably a a pro bowler in his first freaking year! instead, they took a back up qb who got hurt in the spring and hasn't played a flipping down all year.

The lions. Why can't mike illitch buy them?

Forcing

What is it you say? Well, it's pretty much most bad ass thing anyone that reads this can ever do at any time in their entire life...that's all.

It's the 'tricking' of a flower bulb to think it's spring to get it to bloom indoors in the winter. I'm using an Amarylis bulb i got at English Gardens. Basically, all you need to do is this: Get a vase with a narrow neck so the bulb can sit up top....fill the vase with rocks of your choice..fill with water and place bulb on top of neck so ONLY the roots hit the water..and VOILA! The bulb drinks the water..enjoys the light on in this case my kitchen table and has grown to over a foot tall already. See pics.

Now, how much does this cost you say? $1,000? $1500? $2000? Nope..you can get the whole setup...bulb included...for around $30. Best part is after the flower blooms in 4-6 weeks, you simply remove the bulb...dry it off completely, do some trimming and it will regenerate again in water.

Coolness 101 is now over. You may return to your normal activities.