The day i've been dreading
Well..as a follow up for my earlier blog posting today..yes i'm still at work..and yes, i'm still board. However, I've brought in over 18k in sales today..which is a great day...so I guess i should suck this last hour or so up and stop chirpping about it....
Anywho, tomorrow i'm moving into my apartment. Which, I NEED to do. Things with Shan, while they are still very amicable are just at a point where we need to be doing things away from each other, and the whole sharing a home, even tho at this point we are basically just passing by each other a couple times a week, still needs to be lessened. It's just the point of the divorce where things start getting a bit fiestier by nature i think, with some of the bigger items coming up that need to be settled before it's final in less then 2 months.
However, the part about it that I am dreading and have been for some time is the fact that i have to realize and learn to deal and accept with the fact that i won't be able to be with Shelly and Carly every day. It's hard to even write about it, but I needed to get it off my chest a bit. Even now, when that same schedule already is pretty much there with me not seeing them every day..i still find ways to sneak over, or bump into them most days. Now, I can't. Part of me feels like i have taken for granted the time i have had with them up to this point, as the ages they are, while they are fun, they are a lot of work. With Carly, i've talked about it before, words can't describe the challenge she was from 0-1 year. So, in relation, I couldn't wait to get out of the house and away from them at times so I could re-energize. Now, I wish i hadn't and had seen them and done more with them at the times when I could have.
However, i think this process will make me more aware of that, as my time with them now is much more precious and valuable to me. I want them to know how important they are too me as they grow older and i think going thru this separation from them will make sure I maximize all of our enjoyment we can have together. So, I think that is definitely the good coming from my being apart from them. I am confident our relationships with each other will only get stronger.
I also have decided i MUST start doing more things for myself. Including calling back my friends who i've basically blown off the past year and going out more, and hanging out with people that i think are fun and great to be with while not worrying about wether or not I need to be doing something for someone else at the same time. That probably sounds weird, but i've become pretty dependent on having others be dependent on me...if that makes sense. So, I'm looking forward to growing and learning more about myself and others while re-discovering some of the things in the past that I enjoyed but wasn't/or haven't been able to do for some time.
I feel better now for writing that.
Anywho, tomorrow i'm moving into my apartment. Which, I NEED to do. Things with Shan, while they are still very amicable are just at a point where we need to be doing things away from each other, and the whole sharing a home, even tho at this point we are basically just passing by each other a couple times a week, still needs to be lessened. It's just the point of the divorce where things start getting a bit fiestier by nature i think, with some of the bigger items coming up that need to be settled before it's final in less then 2 months.
However, the part about it that I am dreading and have been for some time is the fact that i have to realize and learn to deal and accept with the fact that i won't be able to be with Shelly and Carly every day. It's hard to even write about it, but I needed to get it off my chest a bit. Even now, when that same schedule already is pretty much there with me not seeing them every day..i still find ways to sneak over, or bump into them most days. Now, I can't. Part of me feels like i have taken for granted the time i have had with them up to this point, as the ages they are, while they are fun, they are a lot of work. With Carly, i've talked about it before, words can't describe the challenge she was from 0-1 year. So, in relation, I couldn't wait to get out of the house and away from them at times so I could re-energize. Now, I wish i hadn't and had seen them and done more with them at the times when I could have.
However, i think this process will make me more aware of that, as my time with them now is much more precious and valuable to me. I want them to know how important they are too me as they grow older and i think going thru this separation from them will make sure I maximize all of our enjoyment we can have together. So, I think that is definitely the good coming from my being apart from them. I am confident our relationships with each other will only get stronger.
I also have decided i MUST start doing more things for myself. Including calling back my friends who i've basically blown off the past year and going out more, and hanging out with people that i think are fun and great to be with while not worrying about wether or not I need to be doing something for someone else at the same time. That probably sounds weird, but i've become pretty dependent on having others be dependent on me...if that makes sense. So, I'm looking forward to growing and learning more about myself and others while re-discovering some of the things in the past that I enjoyed but wasn't/or haven't been able to do for some time.
I feel better now for writing that.
posted by Jdaddy @ 3:44 PM
1 Comments:
At 12:50 PM,
Anonymous said…
What an odd rambling. Complaining, to bragging. Self defeating to enlightening. And all while spelling bored wrong. I am forwarding this one to Dr. Phil. FYI people never appreciate their kids. Quit being so down on yourself. Need a tissue?
Post a Comment
<< Home