Sleeping Kid Poop
So, last nite after i finish another furious round of Ebaying..which by the way is still at a fast and furious pace...i decide to go to bed. It's about 11 o'clock..i turn off all the lights..check the doors to make sure they are locked and proceed to walk up the stairs. As I make the turn to go up the top half of the stairs I noticed an all too familiar smell that strikes fear in every single father's heart....sleeping kid poop.
I wish I could describe this smell to you all, but i can't. Sleeping kid poop is the worst of all the poops. "Sleeping kid poop" is worse then "wet diaper full of pee poop", "runny poop", "sticky poop", "hard poop", "uncontrollable poop" and the dreaded "can't stay in a pile cause it's like rabbit poop" poop.
It has a very distinct odor..one that lingers and can fill up an entire floor of a home. What makes this kind of poop the most venomous of all the poops in the solid waste family? It's cause the kid who made the sleeping kid poop is still sleeping and normally covered in her poop. Last nite was no exception.
So, I make the turn upstairs and immediately think "oh, it's probably just carly..she didn't go poop tonite and it's probably just in her diaper". So, i check her first...nothing. She's clean. That's when my heart began to beat faster..cause i knew it was shelly...and let me tell ya..Shelly can poop with the best of em'. The thought of her having a sleeping kid poop was terrifying. Carly's are normally awful...but shelly's poops are big enuff that someone could follow her with a broom and pan like the horses at a parade. They are that big...kind of a source of pride really.
So, i go into her room..and sure enuff...she was covered in poop. Poor kid was still sleeping and had no idea she had gone. Her pj's were covered..her body...all her sheets and blankets...just a total mess. So, i take off her jammies and toss her half asleep still in my shower so I could scrub her off. Then I did the unenviable task of CAREFULLY picking thru her sheets and carrying what i could to the washer (i am SO thankful for second floor washer and dryer!!) while being careful not to lose any chunks on the carpet. Two loads of laundry later and a good shower for me and shelly, things were back to normal.
I think she had some kind of bug...it's not like her to do that and this morning she took another big poop which means she is fighting something. She seems fine besides that. On the bright side, she slept in bed with me which i hadn't allowed since we moved into the new house as her and carly have been doing great in their own beds and I have to admit i enjoyed having here in there with me again for the one night. Of course i was scrunched onto the one side of the bed while she was spread out like a box kite over the rest of the king bed..but i had missed her in there with me. So, it was a nice one time thing for us again. Brought back all the memories of me tickling her back and helping her go to sleep for all those years..that's for sure.
However, again..for those of you with kids you know what i'm talking about. For those without..BEWARE OF THE SLEEPING KID POOP!!"
I wish I could describe this smell to you all, but i can't. Sleeping kid poop is the worst of all the poops. "Sleeping kid poop" is worse then "wet diaper full of pee poop", "runny poop", "sticky poop", "hard poop", "uncontrollable poop" and the dreaded "can't stay in a pile cause it's like rabbit poop" poop.
It has a very distinct odor..one that lingers and can fill up an entire floor of a home. What makes this kind of poop the most venomous of all the poops in the solid waste family? It's cause the kid who made the sleeping kid poop is still sleeping and normally covered in her poop. Last nite was no exception.
So, I make the turn upstairs and immediately think "oh, it's probably just carly..she didn't go poop tonite and it's probably just in her diaper". So, i check her first...nothing. She's clean. That's when my heart began to beat faster..cause i knew it was shelly...and let me tell ya..Shelly can poop with the best of em'. The thought of her having a sleeping kid poop was terrifying. Carly's are normally awful...but shelly's poops are big enuff that someone could follow her with a broom and pan like the horses at a parade. They are that big...kind of a source of pride really.
So, i go into her room..and sure enuff...she was covered in poop. Poor kid was still sleeping and had no idea she had gone. Her pj's were covered..her body...all her sheets and blankets...just a total mess. So, i take off her jammies and toss her half asleep still in my shower so I could scrub her off. Then I did the unenviable task of CAREFULLY picking thru her sheets and carrying what i could to the washer (i am SO thankful for second floor washer and dryer!!) while being careful not to lose any chunks on the carpet. Two loads of laundry later and a good shower for me and shelly, things were back to normal.
I think she had some kind of bug...it's not like her to do that and this morning she took another big poop which means she is fighting something. She seems fine besides that. On the bright side, she slept in bed with me which i hadn't allowed since we moved into the new house as her and carly have been doing great in their own beds and I have to admit i enjoyed having here in there with me again for the one night. Of course i was scrunched onto the one side of the bed while she was spread out like a box kite over the rest of the king bed..but i had missed her in there with me. So, it was a nice one time thing for us again. Brought back all the memories of me tickling her back and helping her go to sleep for all those years..that's for sure.
However, again..for those of you with kids you know what i'm talking about. For those without..BEWARE OF THE SLEEPING KID POOP!!"
posted by Jdaddy @ 10:09 AM
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