Thank you Conquestador of the Pull Up

I wanted to take these first few sentences, before I completely degrade myself and any respect you have for me, to say that JJ is my best friend and I admire him as much as I admire anyone in my life. He's been thru more in life at 32 yrs old than many of us will ever go thru. I've never had a brother, but if I did, I'd want it to be him. Your a lucky man Jeff. Normally, you save that for a female, but in this case, Jeff your close enough.

Now, I have the utmost respect for this blog and how JJ uses it. Anyone reading this blog and taking potshots at JJ by going thru his ex-wife, who to my understanding hasn't read the blog, should be ashamed and I hope that you know we know who you are. Just kidding. No I'm not....

Okay, to my painful story...the fantasy football draft like Christmas morning. Well, we're so cool we have two drafts. One's a keeper league and the other league has been around since Filet O'Fish sandwiches came in light blue cartons. I know, because I'd get two for the draft. Drafts are times to get together with 9 other good buds and match wits, throw in a chew, eat pizza, fan farts, criticize pics and for that one day, your team is equal to everyone elses. Unless your last name is Wilson, his teams always do the most with the least...but usually that doesn't amount to much. The Keeper Draft was a week and a half ago on a Wed night at JJ's house. I got there early to hang with JJ...hit a few golf balls, watched him dry hump a wrachet trying to drive in a anchor for his new deck into the house foundation (only to watch a guy half his size and weight feminize his form) and just plain see my boy. Kudo's on the deck by the way. Well, we got to the topic of lifting weights and how ungodly huge his trycepts are, some complimentary banter back and forth and then the bomb from the Leutenant of the Lat that will change my life for the next 6 months....JJ asks "How many pull ups can you do?" which I know was a set up...he knew I wasn't doing pull ups....

The draft goes smoothly, I hate my team, 50 bucks down the drain. I invested in the Lions Kevin Jones last year and it's gonna kill me for years to come. The next day I take my girls for a bike ride to my 5 yr old daughter Kaitlyn's new school to burn some energy on the playground. Kaitlyn and my 2 year old Meghan are playing nicely when out of the corner of my eye I see an old jungle gym. The kind no kids played on except girls who could hang by there legs upside down and do the tricks that as kids we'd pray to see any peek of a training bra. Flashback to JJ "How many pull ups can you do?" Well, I get four sets of five each. Not bad for my first time, JJ previously let me know he can do 5 sets of 10 or 12 of course. It's a start. Head home, no problem.

The next day:

Sat morning, my lovely wife's been up north at Boyne for 4 days and she arrives home this afternoon. I wake up in pain. Like food poisoning pain. Like I got beat up by Stacey Gall pain. My whole stomach hurts...I push around until I find the one spot that kills...it feels like a golf ball popping out of my stomach. Sue gets home and I start whining. My cousin Nicole's husband Daniel is a General Surgeon, I give him a call and he checks me out late Saturday...he can't push the golf ball back into it's hole. By the way I scream like unnamed friend at the site of a Connelly arriving at his graduation party..schwing, or a couple of other unnamed friends at the site of a phone call from a Cincinnati area code. I'm a cat on the wall...what the hell was that? An incarcerated hernia I'm told, maybe a double. I have no idea if I spelled that right but I don't care. It hurts and I'm trying to be tough. Daniel suggests surgery the next day. Apparently incarcerated hernias are the worst, whatever the golf ball is has attached itself to the stomach wall and won't go back in, it's the most painful type of hernia. If an organ is what's attached, it could die. Pretty serious. He says it's most likely fat, ha ha, but it needs to be operated on immediately. I call JJ on the way home, he can't stop laughing as I trace this whole mess back to the conversation in his kitchen. Two 30 somethings guys trying to be kids, f'n 33 doing pull ups..great idea.

Sunday morning at 8:30 I'm under the knife. Double Hernia...two holes..and appearantly I was fighting the nurse who wanted me on my back, to which I screamed "I sleep on my side"...great stories for Christmas time w/ the family surgeon...Head home and I hate JJ. Pure hatred. My stomach feels like a M-80 goes off in there every time I move.

My restrictions: I have a 20 lbs lifting limit for 3 months and no workouts for 4 months. I hate you Pompador of the Pull Up. So, on wednesday Kaitlyn has her tonsils, adnoids and turbenaits removed or coderized that wednseday...she won't eat or drink for two days. Friday we spend 9 hours in ER with her in an IV an me in a chair nursing my baby, aka the hernia. I am not allowed to pick up either kid, to which I've thrown caution and another surgery to the wind. Our fantasy draft for the Dexter league is Sunday...I can't go. I am crying inside...I've never missed a draft in the 12 yrs...Mark McKillen drafts for me, I like my team but it sucked not being at the lake and going golfing after words with my other best friends Scot. Chad Darnell another great friend was there as well...memories lost..it's my Myrtle Beach. Can't golf for 4 months either..that's tradeshow season which I am on the road in a sunny part of the USA, aka Anaheim, Orlando, Vegas, Dallas...you get the picture, for half the winter...thanks again oh Mark Lavine of the Pull Up. Then I need to have two table spoons of blood drained from it on Monday which puts me to today typing this ranting guest blog...

The short of it is, if your 33 act 33. Don't try to do something that you couldn't do at 23. Stick to the river and streams that your used to.

Thanks for the time JJ...it helped..

Todder

Rain, plus i'm bored

Well, i'm at work and bored right now. Looking outside the window it's raining for like the 5th day in a row, or basically, ever since i got back from Vegas. Getting old pretty quick. Getting colder, darker earlier, leaves are starting to fall...man, it's already almost fall.

Which, i'm MORE then ready for. Summer has been crazy. Lots of fun, but very hectic. Tonight is my last game in basketball league and for the first time i'm actually really glad it's almost over. I have 2 more nites of golf league then the banquet and as much as i've grown to love golf this year (which was one of my goals this summer!) I'm ready for it to end too. I want a more relaxed schedule. I'm going on a vaca out to see Rupert in Seattle in October, which i'm really excited for and outside of that, i don't think i have too much else going on.

I can start actually planning some things i've wanted to get to around the house...like decor..paint...drapes..that kind of crap that i occasionaly think about and always say, "eh, i'll do it later when i have more time". Oh, and i'm going to find some high maintenance plants to have around the house. I really miss trimming back my rose bushes for some reason i used to have..i need something that needs regular pruning. Don't know why, but i enjoy it. Plus, i'm looking forward to seeing just what does survive the winter that i planted this summer and what doesn't. I'm sure i'll lose some plants....but man i hope that tree stays.

yeah, this is a real lame blog..but i just wanted to pass some time..done and done.

Las Vegas

Vegas is in incredible place. Really just a complete spectacle unto itself. Amazing things to see and do. Unfortunately, I worked almost the entire time i was there. I got out for some fun a couple times, don't get me wrong, but not the kind of fun i'd necessarily want to have if i was in vegas for a 'vacation'..ie- no strip clubs or huge bars, but still, fun nonetheless. Some observations:

1) The hotels are incredible. I was at the Rio which was a pretty nice place, but then i went into new york new york, caesars palace and most notably the Venetician and was like "wow...". Just massive structures with incredible amounts of things to do inside all of em'.

2) It's hot..like sitting on top of a lawnmower that's been running all day kinda hot. It's dry heat tho...totally different then here in mich. We walked all over the place and I never once broke a sweat...i was wearing khaki's too!

3) Tons of hookers/hot chicks/fake boobs..people wanting to do anything they can to get attention. I had no problems with seeing any of this...

4) Shit there is expensive. Food, drinks, merchandise...stuff ain't cheap in vegas.

5) I got a blister the size of a silver dollar on the heel of my foot from standing and walking down there. It's nasty. Really, really nasty.

I def want to go back there, we got stuck with people we worked with late every nite and after working 12 hours days and those people leaving, my buddy and i there (joffe) were each just whipped. We didn't have NEARLY enuff time to do everything we wanted...but that's what return trips are for....

Speaking of which, my return flight home was one for the ages. After flying out there on a perfect flight, the return trip was brutal. We took the red eye..by choice, figuing we could sleep. Well, 3 babies got on board..yep....3. Sure enuff, one of em' screamed the ENTIRE time..all 3 hours. First off, who would put their baby on a red eye flight?? That's just cruel...Secondly, everyone wanted to kill this lady..it was her, her 10 year old son and infant daughter. What a dumb bitch...people all over were just ready to lay her out. So..no sleep. Plus, there was turbulence the ENTIRE flight...just a steady bevy of ups and downs and backs and forths. Oh, and the whole airplane smelled like piss...not any old piss...CAT PISS!! The entire cabin reeked. Just awful. Then, While the plane was in decent....and i was enjoying my seat RIGHT next to the on board bathroom, an old korean lady decides she can't hold her turd 5 more minutes and drops a deuce right before landing which stunk up the whole plane. Smelled like old lady poop..you know the kind, like cat poop, the smell you get when you walk into the bathroom at your grandma's house. Oh, and korean food, it smelled like korean food.

The Fn' Deck is Fn' Done!!!.......

......basically. Ted came over today and we did the other half..the step down section that is considerably larger then the top section. It looks fantastic. Really does. We aren't gonna be able to get to the stairs and railing for a few weeks...(i'm leaving for las vegas tomorrow, then he leaves for disney world the next day, then i leave for seattle 3 days after he comes back)...but it's awesome. I really can't believe someone as industrial arts challenged as myself participated in the construction as much as i did.
Plus...my deck is huge!!! I have a huge deck...it's a massively strong, powerfully constructed deck that can seat 20 people comfortably! There's a joke in there...but seriously, it turned out and looks way bigger then i thought which really is cool.

Tomorrow Vegas baby...Vegas. That will be a blog in it's own right for sure. And, i'm going to have a GUEST BLOG soon as well...Hey! It's my blog, i can do with it as I want too!! It will rule...i'm sure of that.

ALSO...This blog is something i started for me. Something that I enjoy using as a tool to vent, relieve, relax with and enjoy because I truly enjoy writing..always have. However, I know many others read it and i'm TOTALLY cool with that. Really am. In fact, it motivates me to write more which i really love. The down side is that some people read things on here and miscontstrue them and report to others..namely my ex-wife that "i have a blog and on it I write how i bad mouth her, the divorce we went thru and how hard a time i have with my girls". Anyone who reads this with a clear mind would know that is about as far from the truth as it can get with my views on shan, my divorce and the girls thru this blog. I have said not one bad thing about any of them...especially the girls!! This has been a borderline Shrine to Shelly and Carly!!

Whoever you are, you suck. I know when people are down it's easy to take pot shots at em' from behind their back...just because you think you are doing someone a favor, doesn't necessarily mean you really are. Stay out of my business AND my daughter's business.

The Beer Tent

After the wiggles concert..i needed a drink..well, multiple drinks. So, as luck would have it, it was dexter daze...which really means, the beer tent was open. Always a big day. Growing up around here it's been something of local folklore for many years..and this year wasn't any different.

1) The beer always sounds like a great idea when you go into the tent..but always plays out poorly. i don't know what happens in there to that beer, but after 1/2 milk carton in, it always begins to taste like shit. And, for some reason, i get rcoked off that beer. QUICK. I came in saying, alright, i'm only drinking two 1/2 gallon milk containers and heading home..however, i never count on getting constant refills from people walking by and other friends....so, i usually end up with double that. And yep, i felt like butt the next day for doing so.

2) none of my 'best' friends were there, but a lot of other friends and acquaintenances, which meant, i never had that "homebase" to return too and talk with someone when you get bored, instead, i just bounced from group to group until one got stale and i went to another. Which, was alright, but same time, marginally fun. Again, growing up around here you see literally a 100 people you know and it starts to get annoying by the end of the nite

3) I left at 10:30!! A new record early time for me! i was driving home and had a plan to leave early and stuck to it!

4) i came to the conclusion...it's starting to get old...it's just not as fun as what it used to be..it's alright still...but not like what it was when i was 21 and everyone i hung out with would go there....

Next year i may actually try seeing some of the other events there...they have elephant ears. i love those..i may hang out by that booth more.

THE WIGGLES

Well, my camera is in my car and i'm wayyyyy to lazy and tired to go out there and get it...so i'll put some pics up when i remember to pull it out. However, in the meantime, the Wiggles concert was.....(drumroll please)....alright.

Carly and Shelly did well...considering it was the first time in a stadium environment it could have gone a lot worse then it did. Both of em' were great, of course that meant i had to keep shoving food in front of em'..cotton candy, snocones..pizza..pop...and spend $15 EACH on two flashlights with the wiggles on em' that probably cost $1 to make. They had a good time..carly got scared when the lights dimmed, but shelly loved every second, which i could tell as i got numerous "i love you daddy's" for no good reason!

The show itself..starts off with some dancers, then the big red car comes out.."toot toot chugga chugga big red car..." and in it, Jeff (purple and the scary looking one..he's the one that's usually linked to the badboy if the wiggles..if there was one) Murray (red and also weird looking) Greg ( yellow and the singer..he really could go out on his own and make more jack by himself...) and Anthony (blue who is the hardest worker on stage). Basically, what it is, is 90 minutes of characters in costumes, goofy songs, big props, lighting effects and cheesy lines.

Really, nothing really out of the ordinary. THere were an ABUNDANCE of MILF's there...that's for sure, but i expected that. I'd bet the wiggles tag some serious milf tail back in the dressing room...(speaking of which...i missed a story about them on 95.5 the other day about something scandalous with them..if anyone heard it please tell me) Those guys make some serious jack...SERIOUS jack...it's gross. You can buy shirts, hats, balloons, flashlights, swords, blah blah blah...

It was strange at the palace..prob about 10 thousand people there...and when we took a bathroom break half way thru the show, the bathroom was empty besides some guy takin' a deuce..that's it. Just strange...normally at the palace in the bathroom the floor is covered in piss and it smells like warm taco...not today. Plus, parking and driving was A BREEZE. Nothing like the normal events you go too there..everyone was considerate and patient...kinda like bizzaro world.

Anywho, i'll get to those pics...after battling traffic i couldn't WAIT to get to the beer tent later that nite...which will be tomorrow's spout off i'm sure here...

GRADE ON THE WIGGLES: B

NEWSBREAK!!

I have MUCH more to blog about..including the all encompassing Wiggles concert..but i just saw this and wanted to make sure i gave it the due it's deserved. Yes, That's right...we are within a month of the next installment of dancing with the stars...my oh my has it been a cold summer..well, it's gonna heat up!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060814/ap_en_tv/tv_dancing_with_the_stars

well, it sucked

hoops last nite was brutal...just brutal. The first game i was actually great stamina wise ( which i attribute to my starimastering) until about the last5 min when i began to feel my body turning to jello. We won the first game 31-28...the second game we played another team that had also played earlier...however..2 big differences. Their first opponent only had 2 players..so they played 3 on 2, which in halfcourt means "LAYUP DRILL". didn't even break a sweat...Secondly, they have 5 guys..we have 3..which means they can substitute and stay fresh..we can't..needless to say..none of it mattered..all of us, me and my teammates were basically meatsticks out there...couldn't move..couldn't shoot...didn't care. We lost like 30-16 i think...wasn't even fun. I didn't want to be there and frankly, i felt kinda sick from the heat, not cool. I'm glad that's over.

I'm still tired today..it's weird...i'm getting more and more sore as the day goes on too...b-ball really racks on my shoulder for some reason and takes a couple days to recoup...plus, i slivered all the skin off my two little toes on my right foot..my sock last nite was ruined with blood..really nasty. i need some neosporin..or , just better socks..that happens every game.

Hotter than Piss

That's hot...Or how about hotter then two dogs humpin in a wool sock? that's hot too...97 degrees today..and of course, i've got basketball leauge tonight..and of course, i've got a doubleheader. If this is my last post, then i can honestly say i've enjoyed blogging. I should have given plasma before hand to be ready for the IV i'll need afterward. I may not be able to pee for days...or if i do it will be like applesauce from dehydration. I'm nervous, i really don't care if we win or lose..i just want the games over without coughing up any blood..OH and no sub either tonight, which means zero breaks. Figures.

I read a book!! Really!! Animal Farm...the George Orwell classic..and ya know what? i really enjoyed it. Very short, i read it in two sittings and just a few hours of total time. Fast read and really interesting to compare it with what was going on at the time with politics, socialism, ..communism...etc..etc...highly recommended!

AND get this..I've started..i hope you are all sitting down...A SECOND BOOK!! Called "Manhunt" by James Swenson. So far, i've been incredibly impressed. i'll have a full review when i finish the book, but basically, it's the detailed storytelling of the assassination of Abraham Lincoln and the subsequent pursuit of John Wilkes Booth. I'm only 100 pages in as of now and i have been VERY pleasantly suprised with the book. VERY enteretaining.okay, i'm gonna start reviewing it if i don't stop talking about it, which i shouldn't cause again, i'm only 100 pages in..

alright..off to hoops...