Cedar Point Part II
Ah yes...the much awaited sequel to Part I. Well, that's a lie, besides the fact it is a sequel.
Alright, The park itself: There's stuff everywhere to take your money..from the all the food stands..beverage carts..restaurants..( i hit the sports grille..which had a very average club...which in the world of club sandwiches is really not good) and johnny rockets..where the waiters and waitresses either are former cheerleaders or gay men who probably also were former cheerleaders)...coffee shops...snocone booths...guys wanting to take your picture...etc, etc..
( another sidenote here..i'm a flaming sucker for a good snocone and a softpretzel...like that's pretty much what i'd have chosen for my last meal if i was lincoln burrows in one of my favorite shows "prison break" on FOX instead of the blueberry pancakes he requested and never even ate...my point on this was the snocones down there are served in a freakin' wheelbarrel...ridiculously large..and there is a gourmet soft pretzel shop too! Yet, i had neither....strange for me to pass on those..just an idol thought there..back to the blog).
Bottom line..it's an easy place to drop your jack...WHICH brings me to the carnie games...if there's a third thing i'd want to do along with my snocone and pretzel dinner on my deathbed it would be to play a line up of carnie games run by some realy schysters. At CP i played the basketball game...you know the one..where the hoop is literally the exact same size as the ball, so you basically have to nail the shot. Plus the ball is harder then Rosie O'Donnell's nipples at a Pussycat Doll's concert. HOWEVER..this one was different...the guy..leans over and says "hey, brother, check this ball out...it's flat..take a squeeze..." which i did..and yep, it was flat.."now, the bank is always open...i'm giving you a break...try it out"..so at $2 bucks a shot, what do i got to lose right? Sure enuff, i hit my first two shots...which gets you a "medium prize" which is basically a normal sized stuffed animal...i miss the next..hit the third..which is a "large" stuffed animal...i need to hit one more for "your choice" which in this case was a giant alaskan husky. And as you can imagine..i missed my next 7 shots till i finally drained the 8th...still...no way i do that without a flat ball...it made the difference and after a little song and dance by the carnie guy i walked away with a giant novelty sized stuffed animal for about 20 bones. Love me some HCA (hot carnie action).
Now, the highlight of any good trip to cedar point has to include the momentous amount of white trash that visit the area and/or live there. Actually, the trash isn't limited to just white people. As I typed that last sentence i think back to the indian family who's father was trying to take a nice picture of his 10 year old son but his son refused to stop showing a GANG symbol for the pic..thus creating some tension in the photo process.
There was a couple in line in front of me at the raptor..who had hillbilly twangs to em'...they could have been from the tip of cincinnati, but i don't feel like giving them the benefit of the doubt..i'm pretty sure they were kentucky residents or possibly west virginia. Anywho, these two..loved cedar point. It was their second MULTIPLE day trip of the year to the park and they had oodles and oodles of unsolicited information to help make the 40 minute wait in line not only reek of deer scent and mudflaps, but also of annoying comments and educationally limited conversation.
Also spotted there was a 12 year old girl with dollar bills sticking out of her shorts like she was a stripper while she carried her cell phone inside of the front clasp on her bra. It was scenes like that as a father of two little girls made me cringe and vow out loud to beat the crap out of my kids if they ever come close to looking like that much of a whore. Scares the shit out of me....
The best tho..was first ride of the day...Demon Drop. Look up..there's a guy wearing a captain morgan's shirt..half mullet..nascar hat..and she shirt had the actualy price sticker still on it...which can happen...but when it's the size of my forearm and says $9.44 on it...it took the cake as the WTMOTD (white trash moment of the day).
Alright..that's more cedar point than any sane person would right...
Alright, The park itself: There's stuff everywhere to take your money..from the all the food stands..beverage carts..restaurants..( i hit the sports grille..which had a very average club...which in the world of club sandwiches is really not good) and johnny rockets..where the waiters and waitresses either are former cheerleaders or gay men who probably also were former cheerleaders)...coffee shops...snocone booths...guys wanting to take your picture...etc, etc..
( another sidenote here..i'm a flaming sucker for a good snocone and a softpretzel...like that's pretty much what i'd have chosen for my last meal if i was lincoln burrows in one of my favorite shows "prison break" on FOX instead of the blueberry pancakes he requested and never even ate...my point on this was the snocones down there are served in a freakin' wheelbarrel...ridiculously large..and there is a gourmet soft pretzel shop too! Yet, i had neither....strange for me to pass on those..just an idol thought there..back to the blog).
Bottom line..it's an easy place to drop your jack...WHICH brings me to the carnie games...if there's a third thing i'd want to do along with my snocone and pretzel dinner on my deathbed it would be to play a line up of carnie games run by some realy schysters. At CP i played the basketball game...you know the one..where the hoop is literally the exact same size as the ball, so you basically have to nail the shot. Plus the ball is harder then Rosie O'Donnell's nipples at a Pussycat Doll's concert. HOWEVER..this one was different...the guy..leans over and says "hey, brother, check this ball out...it's flat..take a squeeze..." which i did..and yep, it was flat.."now, the bank is always open...i'm giving you a break...try it out"..so at $2 bucks a shot, what do i got to lose right? Sure enuff, i hit my first two shots...which gets you a "medium prize" which is basically a normal sized stuffed animal...i miss the next..hit the third..which is a "large" stuffed animal...i need to hit one more for "your choice" which in this case was a giant alaskan husky. And as you can imagine..i missed my next 7 shots till i finally drained the 8th...still...no way i do that without a flat ball...it made the difference and after a little song and dance by the carnie guy i walked away with a giant novelty sized stuffed animal for about 20 bones. Love me some HCA (hot carnie action).
Now, the highlight of any good trip to cedar point has to include the momentous amount of white trash that visit the area and/or live there. Actually, the trash isn't limited to just white people. As I typed that last sentence i think back to the indian family who's father was trying to take a nice picture of his 10 year old son but his son refused to stop showing a GANG symbol for the pic..thus creating some tension in the photo process.
There was a couple in line in front of me at the raptor..who had hillbilly twangs to em'...they could have been from the tip of cincinnati, but i don't feel like giving them the benefit of the doubt..i'm pretty sure they were kentucky residents or possibly west virginia. Anywho, these two..loved cedar point. It was their second MULTIPLE day trip of the year to the park and they had oodles and oodles of unsolicited information to help make the 40 minute wait in line not only reek of deer scent and mudflaps, but also of annoying comments and educationally limited conversation.
Also spotted there was a 12 year old girl with dollar bills sticking out of her shorts like she was a stripper while she carried her cell phone inside of the front clasp on her bra. It was scenes like that as a father of two little girls made me cringe and vow out loud to beat the crap out of my kids if they ever come close to looking like that much of a whore. Scares the shit out of me....
The best tho..was first ride of the day...Demon Drop. Look up..there's a guy wearing a captain morgan's shirt..half mullet..nascar hat..and she shirt had the actualy price sticker still on it...which can happen...but when it's the size of my forearm and says $9.44 on it...it took the cake as the WTMOTD (white trash moment of the day).
Alright..that's more cedar point than any sane person would right...
posted by Jdaddy @ 1:42 PM
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