People in Development don't poop

Here at my work pooping can be a challenge. I'll break this down. I'm at the Dexter campus where there are three buildings. I'm in building 3, which has two floors with a total of 6 stalls. Building two has 3 total stalls and building one has 4 stalls spread out over 3 bathrooms.

I'm in sales, and guys in sales poop constantly. I mean CONSTANTLY. We have three stalls down here but one is automatically off limits because it's the handicap stall which our president uses and nobody in their right mind wants to be the A-hole caught in there if he comes in and finds you in it. So,that leaves us 2 poopers we can use.

In other words, it's full all the freakin' time. So, i don't even bother going in there to poop as whenever i do i end up just passing right thru do to over congestion. Plus, the ventilation in this bathroom is HORRID. Smells like old cheese most days in there.

So, I'm a two a day kinda guy. I've gotten into quite a reliable pattern of pooping here that works out with no waits and gives me the solitude i require to poop well. I go upstairs where our development team is around 10ish every day. That bathroom is ALWAYS empty. The seat is always warm for some reason (which i don't like cause it means someone probably just got up and left) but it's always open.

Then around 2ish (or right when i'm done posting this in other words) i walk down to building two where finance and web development poop. Again, always open. Those guys must eat a lot of cheese cause i have no problems in their bathrooms findin space AND in building two there is always a gentle breeze with a hint of cinnamon floating thru the air.

I stay away from building one normally for two reasons. 1) the bathrooms are old and antiquated and 2) there's some hard ball shitters in those buildings and if you walk in on one of em' the stench will knock your shoes off.

Gotta run....!! literally....