McCalla In China

My buddy Jeff travels to Asia a lot for his job. He always has good stories about the culture..i've shared em' before..here comes another...by the way. as you can tell by my last post i figured out how to get personal photo's on to my blog. TODD THIS IS YOUR WARNING....Todd has till next friday to mention my blog to me..if he doesn't...i'm posting an absolutely wonderful picture of him....7 days todd..7 days....

Here's jeff's latest story from china..note he can't access my blog there..government has strict no blogging rules except for ceratin members of the government..

So the Chinese government must see the Schwantz as a threat or that you will have a negative influence on the Chinese people, which is probably true.

So here's kind of a funny thing that happened to me the other day. I'm with our distributor and we are heading to our hotel from the airport. We driving along and go through the projects of Shenyang, we get out of the taxi and I look at this place and think, what in the hell am I doing here, this place was an absolute shithole, but it did have some glitzy -Las Vegas style lights and was somewhat OK on the inside. Well, we get in and I'm looking around and they ask us to take our shoes off. I'm thinking I don't know a word of Chinese, but the people I'm with seemed to think this was the right place, so they start taking their shoes off. I'm thinking this is kind of weird, they want us to take our shoes off, what the hell kind of place is this. It turns out it was a massage parlor, our distributor had made a mistake. Idiots....

Anyway, so tonight we're out with potential clients and I'm the distinguished guest. This lady who was on my right was the host (potential client) and she puts a crab shell on my plate. This isn't crab meat, there was no meat on it, but the brown shit that's between the eyes. This is the most prized piece of "meat" on the crab, guess who had to eat it...na-ass-tay. So she also proceeds later to put more food in my small bowl after I politely refuse...it was an entire fishead...it was also like guts and kind of other gross shit...again, guess who's stuck eating it? What is it about this stuff that they like? I nearly hurled a few times...anyway, next, I'm eating a soup that is made from fish eggs...I wondered what all the little dots were. Then we have these little burrito shells and I'm thinking Chipotle, nope, guess again, duck skin with some weird mushroom thing rolled up in a nice neat package. Then there was the cartilage, I'm not sure from what animal, but as you can imagine it was not pleasant.

What really pissed me off about the whole thing tonight is that I had planned to ditch my distributor after I got back to the hotel and head down the street to Pizza Hut. It was the only thing that kept me going all day. I haven't had a decent meal or even a chance to have a normal meal, since I've been here, which is almost two weeks now. So after the last stop with the potential customer tonight, they started loading into the cars and I was trying to play dumb American like I don't know what was going on (because I knew we would be going out to dinner with them). I lost.

I hate having to go out with these customers for shit meals all the damn time...it absolutely sucks. All I can say is my bonus had better be sweeter than tits this year.